The Better Way

When people are engaged and connected, valued, and feel safe, they reciprocate by engaging with others, making them feel valued and safe. It is something I have spent the better part of my career embracing in principle without the so-called ‘language”. It is hard, in our current traditional legacy support environments, to use the words loved and loving in the context of supporting people with IDD. The primary focus is on reducing risk factors producing environment where a person can be safe, rather than creating environments where the members feel safe. There is a difference. Being safe and feeling safe are two different concepts. Moreover, heaven forbid we, as organizational leaders, focus on creating an environment where the staff feel safe, valued, and engaged.

Before I dive into the goodies and fun stuff at the conference, let's get some of the preliminaries out of the way. Gentle teaching is not a new set of tools or a new piece of paper to check off when mentoring staff or supporting a program participant. Gentle teaching is a way of being; it is who you are. The framework first proposed by John McGee and his colleagues Frank J Menolascino, Daniel Hobbs, and Paul E. Menousek back in 1987  builds upon some very old, and recognizable research and data, and some in my understanding, basic common sense. If you are kind to people, they will (eventually) be kind back and learn to be kind to others. If you engage positively with people and communicate value through your presence, words, eyes, and hands, people will eventually reciprocate. If people FEEL safe, they will be more inclined to engage. When people are engaged, learn and grow into their best selves. It's that simple. Quantum physics tells us that energy matches energy. The streets tell you that too. Gentle teaching, as proposed by John McGee, is built on the fundamental nature of the interdependence of human beings. There is nothing new about that.

The Gentle Teaching Conference featured organizations and Gentle Teaching practitioners from all over the world who showcased how they implemented the framework into their daily practices and language and organizational structures. Keep in mind gentle teaching is a way of being more than it is a set of tools or prescribed set of steps to be followed. That said the conference featured people who were engaged in the act of demonstrating human kindness and acceptance of each other, and the people they support. What was more important, was the clear demonstration that organizations, as living systems could and should be gentle as well. The prevailing view is that people staff cannot be in position where kindness, companionship, unconditional acceptance can be demonstrated if the organization in which they work and the leadership that support them remain hopelessly endured to legacy bureaucratic authoritarian structures that value numbers and compliance over people and companionship. In order to demonstrate genuine kindness, one must also be shown genuine kindness.

GTI 2025 opened with Niels Bonnerup from the host organization OVU-Sødisbakke who set the tone for the week reminding us that Gentle Teaching lives and breathes in the moral context and that the relational aspect one builds with a person provides the best means of support. I mean think about it, have you ever tried helping a person brush their teeth that is very,  very intimate and personal experience, how can it be done without empathy, care and knowledge of the person’s needs fears strengths and abilities. Such knowledge can only come through trust and the relational axis.   Other presenters included Kristin Matthers from Eiros who spoke about building meaningful connections, Anne Koch Mikkelsen who gave a talk on integrating Gentle Teaching in daily pedagogical practices. Floris van de Kammer and Simone Schippenr talked through Gentle Teaching in the Netherlands. That was just the opening day!